Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
