So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
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THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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