I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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