Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
