and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
