Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
