It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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