that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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