Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
