He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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