She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
