I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
