I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
