It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
