I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
