I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
