i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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