So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
