everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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