i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize