she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
