Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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