i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
