I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
