I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
