dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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