Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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