Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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