Well apparently he's into motor boating.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
