do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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