so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize