i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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