i would punch a child for taco bell
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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