hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
