I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
