So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
