What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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