You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
