her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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