I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
