absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
