Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
