Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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