We won't sleep together?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
