Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
