My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
