i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
