this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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