Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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