how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
