he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
