Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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