This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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