i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
