its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
