$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
