I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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