Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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